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REASONS WHY I NEED TO OWN ANOTHER GUITAR

REASONS WHY I NEED TO OWN ANOTHER GUITAR 

1.  It will curb my anxiety about not having enough guitars (until the next one)

2.  I'm buying American. I'm creating jobs.

3.  A happy husband is a better husband.

4.  My friend just bought another guitar and he already has 2 more than I do.

5.  This one has a cutaway. None of my acoustics have a cutaway.

6.  If I don't buy it the money will just go to bills and that's boring.

7.  It's on my bucket list. (You know, things to do before I kick the bucket)

8.  If God didn't intend for man to have lots of guitars why did he give us so many fingers?

9.  Guitars are shaped like women and every guitar I own reminds me of my beautiful wife.

10. The sound of a soft guitar is soothing, reduces stress and thus helps to prevent heart disease.

11.  The sound of a loud guitar is energizing, increases blood flow and thus makes me a better lover.

12.  The poetry of the songs I will play, after having been inspired by owning a new guitar, will make me more sensitive and therefore more attentive to my wife's needs.

13.  Like knitting, the finger activity of playing a new guitar is good for my arthritis (if I ever happen to get arthritis)

14.  The guitar is the instrument of love, thus logically it follows, my getting a new guitar is about renewal. It is really just my little way of keeping our love forever young. What better way to say "I love you" than by purchasing a new guitar.

15. Finally - They say "You can never be too rich or too thin." Well, since I will never have to worry about those two things I would like to add "You can never own too many guitars."


These rationalizations are all public domain and may be used by any responsible male when trying to get agreement on purchasing items like golf clubs, motorcycles, fishing gear or power tools.


© Lance Brown 2013   -  lance@lancesart.com